


Obsession

by the-nug-king (eloralouistra)



Series: Amell Siblings [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Cullen Rutherford is a bad person, Dark Cullen Rutherford, F/M, also Circles are terrible, and OP does not like him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 22:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14658005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloralouistra/pseuds/the-nug-king
Summary: Newly transferred to the Gallows, Cullen Rutherford hopes he can forget about everything that happened in Ferelden's Circle, including his obsession with Orlena Amell. Except that one of the mages in the Gallows is Orlena's younger sister, and Cullen's really not very good at letting go of dangerous obsessions.





	Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for PTSD, abuse of authority, stalking, general Circle shittiness and if I ever get this thing finished, abusive relationship and rape.
> 
> Also, Cullen Rutherford is not a good person in the fic. I see everything he does here as in character, but feel free to interpret this as a dark!Cullen AU if you'd prefer. That said, please don't comment on this fic with Cullen positivity, it's liable to set off my complicated triggery Cullen feelings. But I hope you all enjoy!

Cullen is glad, he supposes, that Knight Commander Greagoir had him transferred to Kirkwall. With its dark, imposing cliffs and ominous Tevinter statues, Kirkwall is a stark contrast to the simple Ferelden countryside he grew up in, and he can’t help but miss his home a little. But he hardly feels he could visit his family after what he’s been through, and he had no desire to stay in Kinnloch Hold. Maybe in Kirkwall he can forget the traumas he went through there. Forget the demons. The torture. Orlena Amell. Except he’s only been there a day when he thinks he sees her.  


He’s just arrived to stand watch in the library – Kirkwall, thankfully, is far more rigorous in its security than Ferelden’s circle – and has barely taken up his post when he notices her. Sitting hunched up over one of the desks, the same frown of concentration Orlena always wore as she stares at the open book in front of her. With Orlena’s smooth olive skin and dark eyes and full lips, just as beautiful as Orlena ever was. She’s missing Orlena’s lovely long hair, her own tragically cut short just beneath her ears, and her eyes are slightly rounder, her nose slightly wider, but the resemblance is too strong to be a coincidence.  


She glances up from her book, locking eyes with him for a second and he looks away sharply, hoping it’s quick enough that she hadn’t noticed him staring. He focuses his attention on the other side of the library for the rest of his shift, not daring to look towards her again, as if by that he can forget about her. As if his mind isn’t once again full of thoughts of Orlena Amell.  


***

It’s only prudent that Cullen goes through the records of all the Gallows’ mages. Knowing his charges can only better help him protect against disasters like the one he went through in Ferelden, and if he’s lucky, he can impress the Knight Commander with his extra dedication to duty. There are many good reasons for him to be searching through the names of every one of Kirkwall’s mages and the fact that, as he searches through them, he stops at the name _Ivy Amell_ means nothing at all.  


She’s 18 years old, not yet Harrowed. Born to a noble family right here in Kirkwall and brought to the Gallows at age 11. At which point a templar investigation of her house discovered a second mage kept hidden by the family; elder sister Orlena Amell, then sent to Kinnloch Hold. Cullen’s eyes linger on the report for a few minutes before he pulls himself together, reminding himself that he’s researching every mage here. Even if all the enthusiasm has gone out of him as he reads about the rest of them.  


***

He doesn’t seek her out. He will admit, at his most self loathing, to lingering glances, to being a little too eager in his research of her, even to volunteering to patrol the apprentice dormitaries at night just to find out where she sleeps, but he never gives in enough to approach her. He is stronger now than he was when he met Orlena, he will not be the foolish boy blushing and stumbling over his words as he tries to impress her, letting her know how much she’s getting to him, giving her more to use against him. He is a knight of the Templar Order and he will not give in to any temptations he may have to be around her. And if he aches from a distance, that’s no less than he deserves for wanting a mage.  


“Er... you’re Ser Cullen, right?”  


He blinks, driving all thoughts of Ivy out of his mind to focus on the mage in front of him. She’s young, still an apprentice, and looks scared and apprehensive, even more so than the small group of other apprentices huddles nearby, watching their conversation.  
  
  
“Yes?” he snaps. “Did you want something from me?”  


“Yes, um...” she fidgets, glancing back at her friends. “So... we heard you came from Ferelden, after the Blight, and people were saying, I mean, I heard a rumour? That the Hero of Ferelden was a mage. And I just, we thought, if you were there, you might have known her? If it was true?”  


He could tell her it’s a lie. Ask her where she heard this scandalous rumour. He’s well aware that the Chantry have been reticent on the Hero of Ferelden’s identity for this very reason. The Chantry sees mages as necessary to fight the Blight, yes, but that doesn’t mean it would be beneficial to go around preaching that a mage saved the world from destruction. Far better off for everyone if they don’t know the truth.  


“She was a mage, yes,” he tells her. “I was in Fereldan’s Circle with her. Her name was Orlena Amell.”  


The apprentice’s eyes go wide as she thanks him, rushing off to share the news with her group of friends who gasp in delight, babbling over each other as they discuss it. He has no doubt that within the day, half the Circle will have heard the news. And if, perhaps, Ivy Amell happens to hear her sister’s name, and tries to seek out the templar who knew her, then that’s hardly Cullen’s fault at all.


End file.
